Perfect Guacamole

A few weeks ago, we celebrated the "completion" (still not finished) of the new covered patio by having a few gal-pals over. The pavers are still not done. But, since the roof was complete, the floor was laid down enough to put out the new furniture and most importantly, the ceiling fans were hung...we had our first of many social gatherings. Let me count....Me, Trina, Brenda, Michelle, Christina and Lahli...that's 6 ladies and of course the man of the house, Matt. The boys were tucked in bed for the night.

Since it would be oh-so-anti-southern-living to invite friends over and NOT have something to nibble on, I made a few noshes. The wine was chilled. The cookies were baked. The fruit tray arranged.

Okay, okay, okay...I'll admit it. The only thing I made from scratch was my Perfect Guacamole. Who are you? The foodie police? {smiles innocently}

Okay, okay, okay...I didn't have everything I needed for my standard recipe so I had to improvise. It was still addictive and not a single bite was left in the bowl. And since you asked so nicely, I'll give you both recipes! I know, I am generous to a fault. :-)

Perfect Guacamole

Ingredients
6  medium avocados
1/4-1/3 cup fresh lime juice (4-6 fresh juicy limes)
1/2 small red onion; diced, rinsed with cold water, patted dry*
1-2 cloves garlic; minced
2 Roma tomatoes; deseeded and diced
1 tablespoon fresh cilantro; chopped
1/2-1 Serrano chili; deseeded and minced*
salt and pepper

Equipment
citrus juicer

small strainer

liquid measuring cup

large mixing bowl
knife
cutting board
fork or potato masher
garlic press (optional)

Directions
- Set the strainer over the liquid measuring cup and juice the limes.
- Prep the onion, tomatoes, chili, cilantro and set aside.
- Sprinkle the minced garlic with some salt and scrape the blade of your knife across the garlic and salt repeatedly to create a paste. You can also use a garlic press, if you have one.
- Peel your avocados and dice them up.
- Add 1/4 cup lime juice to the mixing bowl.
- Add half of the diced avocados; mash them up with a fork or potato masher until creamy.
- Add the remaining avocado to the bowl; sprinkle a little more lime juice on top and toss to combine.
- Add the remaining ingredients, season with salt and pepper
- TASTE. Don't skip the step. Don't cross your fingers and hope it's good. TASTE IT.
- If you need to, adjust the seasoning.
- To help prevent oxidation (turning brown), cover the surface of the dip with plastic wrap.

This recipe is best if allowed to sit in the fridge and get all married up for at least 2 hours. Devour with chips. YUMMOLOGY!

* The reason I suggest dicing and rinsing your onions is because this will take away some of the sharp bite from the onions caused by the sulfur compounds. Be sure to dry them in a paper towel to prevent your dip from getting watery.
*You can substitute a jalapeno pepper for the Serrano for less heat. Or simply omit the chili all together if you are wimpy, wimpy, wimpy!
* You can also add some of your favorite hot sauce if you don't have any peppers but not salsa...it will turn your dip brown. Red and green don't mix.

Still Great Guacamole (changes made in red) 

Ingredients

6  medium avocados

1/4-1/3 cup bottled lemon juice (I know, I know, I know... this is just for emergencies)

1-2 cloves garlic; minced

8-10 cherry tomatoes; deseeded and diced (it's what we had growing in the garden)

1 tablespoon fresh parsley; chopped (also in the garden) 

1/2 teaspoon cumin powder

salt and pepper

Follow the directions above for mashing and mixing. 

A rainbow of gazpachos

This Saturday I taught a private lesson with a really nice Mom and her 10 year old son. The mother requested one recipe for herself and the rest were for her son. Apparently she has been searching for the perfect gazpacho recipe to fit in with her raw vegan lifestyle. When she asked if we could create a gazpacho with no bread or oil I was totally intrigued. We decided to include two recipes, a classic tomato and a less traditional green one.

I have to admit something. I really thought the green gazpacho recipe was going to be dreadful. However, upon tasting it, I was knocked out of my socks by the delicious subtlety of flavors. None of the raw vegetables overpowered the other. They all complimented one another like the perfect accessories to a classic sundress. The addition of sherry vinegar really helped to turn up the sparkle on the palate without making your lips pucker.

We blended the vegetables in a high-powered Vitamix blender. The result after sitting for a few minutes was a separation of the juice and an ethereal green foam worthy of a dinner at Emerald City in the legendary land of Oz. We poured the soup into white ramekins and spooned the foam on top.  Then we garnished with some finely diced peeled cucumber and a leaf of cilantro. Elegant is the only word I can think of the describe the finished product. I really should start carrying my camera around with me again. You never know when you might want to capture a magical recipe.

That brings me to Sunday. Since my curiosity was peaked, I ended up spending a couple of hours researching the many forms of gazpacho. I discovered that gazpacho recipes came in nearly every color of the rainbow....red, green, peach, pink and white. I was most fascinated by the cantaloupe gazpachos garnished with crispy prosciutto. The resulting soup was an innocent pale peach hue. The watermelon recipe produced a blushing pink product. I also love the idea of creating a light, health-boosting dessert gazpacho with a blend of berries, melons and juicy fruits. One of my co-workers described the traditional Spanish version of White Gazpacho as a sweet whisper of chilled refreshment on a hot summer day. It includes almonds, green grapes and cucumbers. It seems you are only limited by your own imagination when it comes to these super cool blended soups.

The best tip I discovered for making the famous creamy Andaluz tomato based version was on the America's Test Kitchen website. They suggest salting the vegetables and allowing them to expel some of their juices for one hour before blending. In addition, they tell you to soak the bread in the collected vegetable juices instead of using water to thin the soup. Lastly, their recipes instructs you to stream the oil into the blender while it's running to create an emulsion. This produces a creamy, silky soup that is not oily at all. All great tips but I wouldn't expect anything less from ATK.

Below is a modified version of the Green Gazpacho recipe we made in the private lesson. I made changes based on my research and made it extra rich with the addition of avocado. Enjoy!

Creamy Green Gazpacho

Ingredients

2 cups coarsely chopped seeded peeled cucumbers

1 cup chopped romaine lettuce 

1/2 cup coarsely chopped green bell pepper

1/4 cup coarsely chopped green onion

1 garlic clove, minced

1-1/2 teaspoons of kosher salt

2 tablespoons Sherry wine vinegar 

1 tablespoon coarsely chopped fresh cilantro

1/2 avocado, diced

Reserved juices

2 tablespoons olive oil

salt and pepper to taste

Garnish: finely diced cucumber and avocado, olive oil and fresh chives 

Directions
Place first five ingredients in large colander set over a bowl. Toss the vegetables with kosher salt. Allow the vegetables to drain for at least one hour at room temperature. Add all the vegetables to a blender and process with some of the reserved juices. Add the vinegar, cilantro, diced avocado. Blend on high until smooth. Slowly pour in additional juices if needed to create desired consistency. With the blender running, drizzle the olive oil in constant stream to create a creamy emulsion. Taste and adjust the seasoning with additional salt and pepper. Chill soup for at least an hour or over night to develop flavors. If the soup separates, simply blend the soup just before service. Garnish with cucumber, avocado, olive oil drizzle and chives. 


Variations

• substitute the lettuce with spinach or arugula 
• substitute the cilantro with basil or parsley (Italian or curly)
• substitute the Sherry vinegar with red wine vinegar
• add grilled shrimp, crabmeat or scallops to the garnish 
• use a food processor and pulse vegetables if you want a chunky version 

Resources: America's Test Kitchens - http://www.americastestkitchen.com/recipes/detail.php?docid=25343

A bacon love letter

Dear beloved Bacon, 

Thank you so very much for making the ultimate sacrifice for me.  I really appreciate your salty, meaty, smokey, crispy deliciousness. You make my mornings brighter and my taste buds joyous. You give me energy to last for entire morning. If you are ever an option for lunch or dinner, the answer is an definite, "Hell yeah!" You are forever welcome in my tummy for a snack...day or night. 

I love the way you play so well with everyone you meet. Sandwiches, salads, pasta, potatoes, pizza, soups, other meats...they all adore you. It doesn't end with the savory folks either. I know you and maple syrup have been lifelong lovers (I promise I am not jealous). Cupcakes, pancakes, chocolate, truffles, doughnuts...fall instantly in love whenever you are near. No matter the recipe, you always elevate the mundane to stratospheric heights. 

The truth is...I need you! Please don't ever change. You are perfect just the way you are. I never want to imagine a world where bacon feels it needs to be "skinny". Every time I smell your intoxicating fragrance, my brain screams, "Yes, YES, YES!!!" 

In short, dear bacon, thanks for making this life a more delicious place. Until we meet again (hopefully tomorrow morning). 

All my love, 

Amanda 

Crash and Burn in Teens Camp

You may or may not know that I am a Culinary Instructor for Sur la Table here in Houston, TX. We offer two weeks of cooking and baking camps for kids and teens during the months of June, July and August. I taught the kids camp both weeks in June. This month I taught the first week of kids camp and the second week of teens camp. This week has already given my sanity a run for it's money. Let me tell you all about it.

The class of 11 is comprised of 10 girls and 1 lone guy. The group is actually pretty well behaved. Of course, I have to stop occasionally and stare at a couple of girls until they get the hint that I am talking and they need to listen. This is to be expected. We are blessed to have a real live "Hermione" in the class who actually speaks French. Her name is Catherine and she is a very smart young lady whose enthusiasm makes me chuckle. Her hand shoots into the sky like a rocket with every question or request for help. We even have a tiny strawberry blonde girl named Amanda (just like me) who I wish I could carry around in my pocket. She is too cute for words. I thought perhaps that the two oldest girls who are best friends might be a problem but they work well together and apart. So, as far as teens go, this is good group. Sanity still in tact.

We have two hours to complete a minimum of 4 recipes. Often times the recipe has several components so, it's more like 6-9 recipes in two hours. What's a teacher to do? Now add in the fact that this week I have only one assistant (I can hear my sanity start to fracture and feel my left eye begin to twitch). I really need one person to be on the dishes nearly all the time. The second assistant needs to be either helping one of the two groups or listening to me. I need support to tend to needs like checking the ovens and stove tops, finding equipment, cleaning sudden messes or tending to boo-boos. I was really lucky for the last 3 weeks of camp. I had the dream team of Mrs. Terry and Miss Danielle. They rock and make my life so much easier. They are both the definition of team players.

Yesterday was...well to put it bluntly...a disaster. I am not opposed to recipe failure. It's an excellent teaching moment. I tell my students that if they did it perfectly the first time then they didn't really learn anything. I also encourage them by letting them know that the skills are difficult even I make them seem easy. It should look simple when I do it because I've done it 1,000's of times (yeah I am that old). In addition, true learning should be slightly frustrating. It means your brain is building new grooves and that is a very good thing. However, when you are one woman down and the only assistant you have really doesn't want to be there, it frazzles my nerves.

Day two of camp, I broke the kids up into three groups to ensure all the recipes were complete in the time allotted. Two teams of two worked on making the vanilla custard for our frozen pudding pops. Another group of two girls worked on making cinnamon lollipops. The last group of five worked on the 4-step nectarine wontons. In spite of my best efforts, things went terribly wrong. I didn't want 11 kids standing around watching a pot boil. Bored kids equals mayhem. However, that left me feeling like a woman with a split personality as I tried to give three groups with the different recipes the attention they needed. Insert mild chaos here. To the kids credit, no body freaked out or lost control. Everyone, including me, remained calm as the crash and burn of recipes ensued!  I think I actually felt grey hairs sprouting from my scalp.

In the first group, both teams of two scorched the milk before tempering the eggs for the vanilla pudding. One duo then made some seriously scrambled eggs and it had to trashed. The second duo was much more careful and I was able to assist them with the tempering and we saved at least one batch. Mind you this, I slowly detailed the steps. I had them repeat them back to me to check for understanding. I gave them a copy of the recipe to refer to if they had questions. I also told them I was right here if they got in trouble or couldn't find the answer on the recipe. They all shook their heads in the affirmative when asked if they felt confident. Obviously something went wrong. Poor Justin asked me how do you know if the bubbles in the pot are from boiling or from stirring? Aha, here was the crux of the problem.

At the exact same time that all this going on, I begin to smell something burning and look up to find black billowing smoke coming from the pot where the cinnamon lollipops are supposed to be cooking. One more minute and we would've had a fire on our hands. At this point, I see my sanity make a run for the door but snatch the back of her neck and drag her back to class kicking and screaming. I ask the girls what happened. Their response was, "The thermometer never reached 300 degrees." REALLY? REALLY? REALLY? I blame the digital world we live in. Kids don't know how to read a mercury thermometer (even though I pointed to the place where the red line should reach) and most can't read an analog watch or for heaven's sake tie their shoes! I digress.

With a deep breath, I gather the students back around the tables to discuss where they went wrong, how they can be more successful in the future, what they learned and tell them not to worry. We take a short break and play around of scavenger hunt in the store for kitchen tools we have used thus far. Inside, I am laughing and thinking what more is going to go wrong? "Shhhhhhhhh you are going to jinx it", whispers my sanity.

The answer was revealed to me the second hour of class. You would think telling a teenager to simply melt some milk chocolate in the microwave would be easy enough, right? NOT! There was chocolate all over her, the microwave and three towels. She kept bringing it to me telling me it was done. The only problem was that there were still chunks of solid chocolate in the bowl. Her apparently inability to stir effectively caused some of the chocolate around the edges to start burning. My assistant tries to help out and thinks that tossing it would be a good idea. NOOOOOOOO! We don't have time or the money to waste here. I decide to go old school and place the bowl on top of pot of simmering water. Amazing! Chocolate melted.

Giving credit where credit is due, the toffee turned out perfectly for the caramel apples rolled in peanuts. The kids and adults loved it. The taste was buttery and sweet and the texture was marvelously chewy. The peanut butter rice crispy balls were positively addictive once they took a swim in the melted milk chocolate. I loved the fancy nectarine wontons pan fried in butter and drizzled with a fresh nectarine sauce. I am crossing my fingers that the vanilla pudding pops turn out nicely today. As for the cinnamon lollipops, well we may or may not get to those before the week is done.

I can't wait to discover what challenges will arise today. At least today I have a fellow instructor to help me. The kids will be doing the dishes, much to there dismay. Today will be entertaining at the least. I am sure some tasty treats will be enjoyed and if nothing else, we will have a good laugh. I love teaching!

Just in case you are concerned. My sanity calmed down briefly on the way home until I got to my exit on the freeway and discovered the parking lot. The cause was a 4-car pile up coupled by an exploding 18-wheeler. FOR REAL? I thought that sort of stuff only happened in the movies. I also got a text on the way home from Trina informing me that she  has strep throat. NICE!!!!!!! Thank heaven for a the new porch, comfy chairs, ceiling fans and sweet puppies to pet. I woke up today sanity in tact (mostly) and ready for another adventurous day of teen baking camp! Honest.

Quick and Easy Parmesan Tilapia Recipe

I am dedicating this article to my dear, life-long friend Brenda. Last Thursday night we had the first of many girls nights out on the new patio. The patio was complete enough for us to have 6 ladies over to eat, gab and bless the patio. For dinner that night Trina wanted to use up some frozen Tilapia. I instantly remembered one of the most well received recipes that I learned while working as a Demo Chef at Central Market. This recipe even converted a lifetime self-proclaimed hater of all foods from the sea. His wife actually thanked me every time she saw me for weeks afterwards. The best part is that you can literally have dinner on the table in less than 15 minutes. We topped it with a fresh-from-the-garden salsa made from tomatoes, basil, capers, olive oil, splash of red wine vinegar and salt/pepper!

So here it is folks!

Serves 4-6

Ingredients:
4-6 Fresh or defrosted Tilapia fillets
1 tablespoon olive oil
2-3 tablespoons softened butter
1 large lemon
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, grated
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
salt and pepper

Equipment:
sheet pan
foil
small strainer (to catch lemon seeds)
spoon
fork
spatula

Directions:
Preheat your oven on the broil setting and move the rack to the top position. Cover a sheet pan with foil for easy clean up. Spread the olive oil evenly on the foil to prevent sticking.

Arrange fillets on the pan so that the thin parts of the fillets overlap to aid in even cooking. Pat the fillets dry with a paper towel. Smear the butter evenly on each fillet. Squeeze half the lemon over top of the fillets and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Cook for 3-4 minutes, until the edges of the fish turn opaque white.

While the fish cooks, combine the mayo, cheese, remaining half of lemon (juiced), garlic powder and a pinch of salt and pepper. When the fish is cooked for the first 3-4 minutes, remove pan and spread an even layer of the sauce over each fillet with the back of a spoon. I like a heaping tablespoon of sauce per fillet. Return to the fish to the oven and cook an additional 4-7 minutes, until the top is bubbling and golden brown. To test for doneness, simply use a fork and pull apart the flesh at the thickest part of the fillet. If it flakes and is opaque all the way through, Bob's your Uncle...they are done.

If you need additional time to finish preparing your meal, cover pan loosely with another layer of foil to keep warm. Or simple use a spatula to gently remove fillets and enjoy immediately.

Variations:
add some dried Italian herbs to the sauce
add onion powder and celery salt to the sauce
add 1 large clove of minced fresh garlic to the sauce
add 1 tablespoon of capers to the sauce
add one pealed/deseeded and chopped tomato to the sauce
sprinkle each fillet with Panko bread crumbs on top of sauce for crunch
substitue fresh lime juice and garnish with cilantro
garnish with torn fresh basil or parsley just before serving
add your favorite hot sauce to the mayo mixture

Voila! Try this recipe even if you think you don't like fish or heaven forbid mayo. Trust me...even the 4 and 6 year old boys ate it all up. It's juicy, flavorful and delish.

Brenda, this recipe is going into your TasteBook!!!!!

Tex-a-Tuscan Lasagna

So the monster basil shrub was in full flower and we really needed to cut the sucker back by at least half. Trina and I pondered on what to do with the overflowing crop. Of course, pesto was at the top of the list but we wanted to try something new. We decided to try a version of the traditional Tuscan version of lasagna but with a Texas spin. The traditional version is basically layers of pesto, pasta and Bechamel (cream sauce). At first we thought we would add some crumbled sausage but then decided to use chicken instead. Sounds easy enough, right?

I made a beautifully silky batch of fresh pasta dough and hand rolled 5 large sheets the size of the pan. I hand picked the leaves of basil then we wash and dry them. Trina cubed up some chicken and cooked it with some dried Italian herbs. She also made a batch of cheese and spinach Bechamel. We ran out of grated parmesan cheese so we added some grated sharp white cheddar. We also added dollops of some left over Ricotta cheese to the layers.

Here is what we learned from our little experiment.

1 - Basil turns slightly bitter and grassy when allowed to flower. So, add the spinach and perhaps a bit of parsley to the Pesto to help mellow the intense flavor.
2 - Use less pesto per layer so that it doesn't over power the dish.
3 - Roll the pasta sheets larger than you think you need because the gluten in the dough will retract and shrink the sheets as they dry. Or use no-cook sheets if you don't like the texture of fresh pasta.
4 - Make extra bechamel sauce and make it a little bit looser than normal to help cook the pasta. Omit the spinach from the sauce.
5 - Shred the chicken to help create a more even layer of protein. Or use finely crumbled beef or sausage.
6 - Bake on 400 degrees covered for at least 30 minutes to ensure the fresh pasta is cooked. Then remove the foil and allow the top to bubble and turn golden brown. This should take an additional 20-30 minutes.
7 - Don't skip or substitute on the Parmesan cheese. If you want a gooey cheese layer, add some shredded mozzarella to the top.
8 - Toast the pine nuts before using to maximize their flavor.

We analyzed the data based on the response of the family. Matt didn't like it because he thought the basil was too strong and the noodles were not cooked enough for his taste. What I know from making fresh pasta too many times to count is that fresh pasta is always softer and you never really get that al dente texture. Our conclusions were to make a new version that looks more like the Italian flag (red, white and green).

Our plan of attack:

Layer one: No-cook lasagna noodles topped with a thin layer of classic Bolognese sauce (red meat sauce). Be sure to spread a thin layer of red sauce in the pan before you begin the layers.

Layer two: No-cook lasagna noodles topped with a thin layer of pesto. Pesto made from spinach, parsley, basil, toasted pine nut, olive oil, salt/pepper and lots of freshly grated Parmesan cheese.

Layer three: An even layer of a thinner (or more liquid) standard Bechamel sauce. The reason I don't indicate a thin layer here is that you really want to see the three distinct colors and if you are not careful, the Bechamel will just mix in with the Pesto and turn green.

Repeat once or twice depending on the depth of your pan. Top with a generous layer of Parmesan and Mozzarella and bake on 400 covered with foil for 30 minutes then uncovered for an additional 20-30 minutes. Crossing my fingers that it turns out better. I just hate disappointing Matt with a dinner he is not willing to eat at least two servings of. For the record, Trina and I really liked the dish but we could see lots of room for improvement. This is what recipe testing is all about.

Recipe Nightmares

This July Fourth was worthy of writing about. I was glad to have the day off and enjoyed sleeping in a little bit. As usual with my best friend, we prepped food for two days before. We had plans to visit her Dad and her husband’s family. That meant that we were preparing a full lunch at her Dad’s house and we were bringing the salad and dessert for her Father-in-law’s house.  Let’s be honest here, no matter how great a cook you are, sometimes the stars don’t line up and your recipes turn into NIGHTMARES.

The horror of this holiday will haunt me for a while. BTW…last year wasn’t so great either. My best friend and I had pneumonia. So we laid in bed convalescing. I couldn’t even tell you what the rest of the family did. And, and, and this year, due to extreme drought across southeast Texas, the neighborhood fireworks were cancelled. I sure hope next year redeems itself with a dazzling and delicious Fourth of July. But I digress!

Let me start by giving HUGE props to my dearest friend (so close that I normally call her my sister). She is truly a talented cook. She knocks my socks off on a regular basis. The one area we sharply disagree is the use of seasoning. She prefers to salt her food at the table and likes to use family blends of herbs/spices that aren’t always my favorite…like nutmeg in mashed potatoes or cumin on pizza. That aside, we rock out in the kitchen. It’s fun and often times creative, adventurous and inspired.

For some reason that I don’t recall at the moment, this year she decided to try making friend chicken for the first time. In case you have never made fried chicken at home, this is way more challenging than it sounds. Southern women spend years, decades, even generations perfecting the family recipe. One must have the proper equipment and little magic to achieve perfectly fried chicken. We tried. We really, really tried. My hope in sharing this ordeal with you is that perhaps you can learn from our mistakes.

My friend procured her mother’s beloved recipe just before she died last year. So, we thought for sure we were on the right track. Her husband has never been a fan of the greasiness of friend chicken.  We hoped with this treasured family recipe that we would be able to convert him. We discussed the process at length the days leading up to it. I wrinkled my brow when she told me that the seasonings were cumin, oregano, nutmeg and “a tiny pinch” of cayenne. I was totally down with letting the chicken soak over night in buttermilk (fairly traditional in Southern recipes).  We agreed that cast iron was the best option since we don’t own a deep fryer. We discussed the possibility of removing the skin but decided to leave it on for some crunch insurance.

The day of, we traveled down the road to her Dad’s house.  Thinking ahead, we took the chicken out of the fridge for about an hour to let it come up to room temperature.  After a dip in the pool, we got started. You know how when you are watching a horror movie and the young, drunk couple decide it would be a good idea to go camping in the middle of nowhere next to an abandoned slaughterhouse while the single friend is freaking out? Everyone in the audience is screaming in their heads, “Noooooooooooooo RUN AWAY!” Yeah, this was the moment when I started feeling like the single friend, worried but unwilling to leave her best friend’s side.  

I walked into her Dad’s house to discover one cast iron skillet, a non-stick frying pan and a shallow metal pan. My first thought was, “This is NOT going to work.” How am I supposed to maintain frying temperature with three different pans on two sizes of burners? I didn’t have a frying thermometer or an instant-read meat thermometer so I had no idea when the meat would be cooked through. I shook off my fears and decide to do my best. I tried all the tricks I knew to calculate the frying temperature. I put a wooden spoon handle in the oil to check for bubbles. I added a tortilla chip to see how fast it turned brown. Nothing helped.  All three pans were different temperatures. The fear was really starting to bubble in my veins.  No time for fear, we had three chickens to get through and eight people were hungry.

We began with the wings. She starting the breading process and I was fry cook.  I couldn’t see any seasonings in the flour but I didn’t dare question her. This was after all a family recipe and you don’t stomp on people’s memories, you know? The pan was too shallow and the oil was too hot. The wings burned and I was deeply afraid the meat wouldn’t be cooked inside. Husband comes in the kitchen and wants to help. We send him home for a thermometer and carry on. I dropped more chicken in the non-stick pan. It’s too cold and I know that it will just be blonde crust that is greasy. I tried to finish the cooking in the cast iron pan but it was too hot. I was crying on the inside. Losing my cooking mojo is truly one of my worst nightmares.

As we make it through the first batch, I tasted some of the fried batter that fell off in the oil. It was crispy, yes. The flavor though was like paste…crispy, fried, raw flour. My friend agrees to let me at least salt the chicken as it comes out. Husband returned with two thermometers, an instant-read meat one and a probe one. Neither of the thermometers really helped since the instant-read one didn’t work and the probe one couldn’t be clipped to the side. Oh the fear and frustration were really starting to take up residence now. If I could have run away to avoid the shame, I would have.  We just carried on and hoped for the best.

The end result was pure disappointment. My worst nightmare came true. The meat was undercooked. The breading was crispy on the outside and doughy on the inside. The skin underneath was flabby and unappealing. Everyone took one piece and NOBODY finished or took a second piece. I hung my head in shame and could only utter a shy apology. Poor Husband, he was gracious and tried so hard to finish his drumstick saying, “You and my wife worked hard for this meal and I will eat it.” My heart was filled with culinary sadness. Worse yet, we had two more whole chickens to eat and it felt like punishment that I now smelled like a fast-food worker.  

In an attempt to at least salvage the meat, we decided to finish the cooking in the oven. We piled all the chicken onto two baking sheets and hoped for the best.  After about ten minutes, we started getting ready to leave for afternoon naps. We showed Dad the timer for another twenty minutes on the chicken and left instructions to take it out. I figured thirty minutes would be more than enough time to finish the cooking process. I have no idea yet how it turned out. Lord only knows.

To add insult to injury, we headed over to the in-laws for a dinner of burgers and dogs. A safe bet, right? Ummmmmm NO! The baked beans and corn on the cob were burned black. The caramelized onion topping was swimming in oil. The burgers were pink all the way through and I just can’t bring myself to eat a pink burger.  I couldn’t even add salt to hide the flavor because it was huge rocks meant for grinding. Did I do something wrong? Why was I being punished? I am sure I will not be invited back for dinner after posting this on the web. They are lovely people but cooking is not their gift to the world.

On the upside, I made a decent caramel sauce and a chocolate sauce for Pecan Balls (vanilla ice cream topped with pecans, chocolate and caramel sauce).  The Strawberry Rhubarb Crips with sugar cone and almond topping smelled great but I left before it was served. The layered salad was pretty tasty and the beer was ice cold.

I won’t let this stop me from ever frying chicken again. Next time, I will make sure I am set up for success with all the right equipment and a sure fire recipe. Sorry once again family. I feel like such a failure, however, I learned a lot.

There you have it. I am a pretty good cook most of the time but I am still human. I am sure many of you have similar experiences. Care to share any?